Family is the most important thing in the world as you are growing up, but what happens when one or both of your parents pass away, that unit starts to fall apart. I think that is what happened in our family. Our mom will be asleep in death 20 years in October. That one event changed our lives as we knew it, and changed us as well. I have three siblings, all younger than me.
I have always been a tough kid, lived on my own from a young age, but I always had to talk to and hear from my mom, even if it were just to say hello, just knowing that she was there, was enough at times to get me through the toughest of ordeals, my Daddy was everything to me, he fell asleep in death nine years after our mother.
When people tell you time heals all wounds, let me tell you they are wrong, the death of a parent or the death of a child are not something you get over no matter how many years pass, yes one can learn to cope with these things, but at times I can't keep the tears from surfacing, pouring out and just taking over my day... I miss them.
My oldest son was a twin, before birth I didn't know that, but as soon as they told me the pangs of grief hit, making it that much more important to keep my son alive no matter what happened to us, I am so happy to say he turned 30 years old this past February, but that is as well 30 years I have mourned his sibling.
Even before that, long ago when I was a child, I learned what grieving a loved one was like, for my two grandmothers both died when I was young, my mother's mom, died about a month before I turned 12 and then my other grandmother died when I was 13. I grieved my Granny, for she and I shared Spiritual Interests, we read the Bible together and prayed together all the time, while she was battling her cancer, I think it is from her strong faith and true example that I have gained the strength to keep on fighting this battle, no matter what my Lupus has thrown at me.
Sometimes we just need that good example to follow, I am so thankful, that she showed me where her true strength came from.
My faith came from an early ritual of Bible Reading, Daily Prayers, and Meditation on the Scriptures of the Bible and all the true Blessing Jehovah bestowed up on me, and created all around me. Many people don't see a sick person, when they look at me, I hide it well... sometimes too well. I suffer in silence and alone, I don't tell a whole lot of people about what I go through, the closest ones to me, know, because they see more of me that I can't hide from them, the pain, the nausea, the vomiting, the migraines, the dizziness, the falling, the fatigue, some of my closest friends, have known me long enough that they know I have had several strokes, but I hardly ever talk about all of this to anyone, that is why I am going to try to increase my blogging, to start talking and showing others, that there is a way to cope with this wicked system of things... to truly start building a relationship with your heavenly father and creator, that can fortify you when you need it, comfort you when you need it.
James 4:8 says " Draw unto me and I will draw unto you." That is a personal invitation for us to form a truly great friendship with our maker. What are we all waiting for?
Pick your self up off the ground and pick up your Bible, and find the strength from the scriptures, from the many examples of men and women who have gone through some similar things we are facing and gain courage, strength and faith from meditating on those examples and praying for him to give you what you need to survive these situations we are facing.
Thank you all for reading my blogs, I pray that something I am writing can benefit somebody somewhere, to help you find the courage and strength to continue to keep on coping in life...
Until next time, agape Love to all.
